7 Cringeworthy Phrases Every Mom Dreads

 

Whether your child is 2 or 22, there are just certain phrases that every mom has heard that makes her cringe before she even spots the damage! Here are what we think make the top 7 on the LONG list of cringeworthy phrases we hear as mothers:

 

1.” Your child has been exposed to Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease” – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Where did this dreadful disease come from and why does it hit the schools at the most inopportune time?!  It’s always when you have big plans; it never fails.  That ‘parents only’ trip you were taking this weekend…yeah – it’s cancelled!

 

2. “I think I’m going to throw up” (or in our house, it’s usually just the dreaded gagging sound) – Of course, you are always in the car when this happens. First it’s the dry heaving, then the kid leans into the cough?! “Come on! Stop trying to throw up, kid!” As you drive 90 mph down the interstate trying to pull off like it’s the Daytona 500 and you’re going in for a pit stop.  Literally jumping out from the car while it’s still rolling.  Nothing raises your heart rate quite like this situation.

 

3. “[Child’s name] tell your mom what happened in class today” – it’s the dreaded teacher’s note for bad behavior.  Or even worse- when you see the school phone number pop up on your Caller ID in the middle of the work day.  Your heart immediately races as you imagine that your child has experienced the worst playground injury of all time.  This literally sends shivers down our spines.  Whether the issue is big or small, the anticipation is a nightmare. (Then sometimes you find out that your child pulled down his pants on the playground and peed on a tiny patch of grass and basically you want to frame the “incident report” or file it away for the wedding slide show.)

 

 

4. “You have been selected to be in charge of the class Christmas Party” – This is especially fun when you have to coordinate with other parents who don’t really want to participate.  Everyone wants to bring plates and cups and no one else is available to bring anything else.  Except for the lady who would be glad to provide cucumber sandwiches for 3 year olds.  {Insert eye roll.}  Thanks, Deborah.  I’m sure those will go over just swell with the toddlers.

 

 

5. “Your child had a blow-out” – Usually you can tell this right away because your kid is not in the same clothes you sent them to school in. Even more fun is when this happens at home. You know what I’m talking about.  When it literally runs all the way to their shoes and you have to practically hose them off in the yard.  It’s like a total hazmat situation up in here!  Yeah, that’s my favorite.  Sometimes, you just want to burn all those clothes and start over.

 

6. “I need a cup of water” – You all know exactly what we’re talking about – the bedtime stall routine. You put your toddler to bed five times and they keep reappearing needing things like water, snacks, hugs, and want to know the meaning of life. We’ve recently been hearing it all, including needing “fresh water”. What are you? A barn animal?!  This isn’t the Ritz Carlton and I’m not your bellhop!  Get back in bed!

 

 

7. “No!  Stop!  MOOOOOOOOOM” {Insert lots of blood curdling screaming!} – Two words: sibling rivalry. It’s the dreaded shrieking from the other room when you don’t know what’s going on or who has been harmed. You’re not quite sure what you’re going to walk in on and you just want to put yourself in timeout, so you don’t have to deal with it! #ITapOut

 

I feel like my blood pressure is elevated just writing these phrases. Ha. What are your dreaded phrases? (We know you have them….)

 

Here’s to a cringe-free week (and even if it’s not, know you are not alone!!)

 

XOXO,

Jill + Lauren

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Ballin’ On A Budget

Our friend Tanner is back and with another hilarious guest post; this time he tells us about his favorite DIYs. Check out these super cute and totally affordable ways to up your decor game:

“Move into your own house”, they said. “You’ll love having a house- what a fun project!”, they said. Well, the cracked shower doors, weedy gutters and dead houseplants determined that was a lie. Moving into your first house is a big deal. Packing, moving, decorating- it’s all a huge adjustment that requires time, patience and a sense of humor. For one, everything you do is a new experience. If you would’ve told me five years ago that I would be using a laundromat and eating leftover hamburger helper, I would’ve laughed straight in your face. But here I am, on a first-name basis with the dry-cleaning lady and loving every minute of that pasta.

However, what they don’t tell you about living on your own is that sometimes you have to get a little creative with what you have. This is where I found one of my new favorite things- DIY projects. Everyone has their favorite sites to find these ideas, but I enjoy Pinterest and Buzzfeed the most! After a couple successes, many flops and few mental health breaks, I found some winners!

1. DIY Frosted Windows

Don’t get frustrated if the paste looks white on your windows, at first. The paste will dry clearly after a few hours. I love this DIY, because it provides adequate privacy on your windows and still lets the natural light in. Plus, the lace adds a great texture to the room to compliment the room’s dimensions.

Materials:

paint brush

water

cornstarch

lace material

It’s easiest to use lace to prevent air bubbles, but you could probably use any type of thin fabric. First, clean your window to remove any dust. Then cut your material to fit the window and iron it. After, mix 2 tbsp of cornstarch with 2 tbsp of cold water and dissolve in a cup and a half of boiling water. Stir until a thick paste is formed, then apply to the window with the paint brush. Once the window is covered in the paste, apply the material to the window. With the material on the window, apply another layer of the paste over the material. Brush the paste from the center to the edges and let dry.

 

2. Floating Bookshelves

This DIY is my absolute favorite, because this project totally gave my living room wall a facelift and I did the entire wall for under $20. These bookshelves are the first things my friends ask me about when they come over and the possibilities are endless with them, because they’re so easy to install- and so, so cheap.

Materials:

1 L-bracket per shelf you wish to make

3 screws that fit through the holes in the size of L-bracket you choose 1 drill driver

1 hardback book per shelf

1 command picture hanging strip per shelf

These directions are short and sweet. Lay the long side of the L-bracket against your wall and insert your screws through the holes of your L-bracket and into your wall. I would place at least two screws into each L-bracket to ensure stability.

Now it’s time to for the real magic. Take one, large hardback book and open the book where the back is swinging open. Place the book on the bracket horizontally, but leave the back hanging down. Pull out your command strip and stick one side to the bottom of the L-bracket and one side to the interior of the back of the book. This creates the illusion that the book is floating on the wall and you can stack more books on top, sit decorations on it or both!

I hope you love these projects as much as I do – Happy DIY-ing!

 

This would be a fun project to help unwind from the week or a group project with the kids.  Let us know how your DIYs turn out!

XOXO,

Lauren

Today’s guest contributor, Tanner Shepherd, currently resides in Ironton, Ohio with his two Airedale Terriers that outweigh him and remind him daily that he’s not ready for children. He is obsessed with coffee, romantic comedies and Hobby Lobby. 

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