2017 Nearly Broke Me: Onward to 2018 And The Milestones Ahead

 

 

As many of you will remember {if you rack your brain really hard – because I’m sure my life isn’t your top priority} on New Years Day 2017, I posted about how my plan for the year was to spend more time on myself.  More workouts, more healthy living, more girls nights, more fun with friends and to really focus on positive energy.  For the first six months of 2017 I literally killed this goal.  Totally crushed it.   I felt so accomplished; I felt more like myself than I had in years.  Then life suddenly took me on a crazy adventure.  One I wasn’t planning for and one I really wish didn’t happen.  There were some really exciting moments, but then came the deepest pain I’ve ever felt.

In July, we quickly decided to make an offer on our dream home.  As crazy as it seems, they accepted our offer {Holy Crap!  Did we really just buy this huge Estate?!?  Are we even adulty enough for this purchase?!}  Before I knew it, we were suddenly doing approximately a bazillion things in preparation to buy and sell homes.  Two short months later and, voila, we were the owners of not one, but TWO homes.  Panic started to set in {Caleb had to practically force me to sign on the dotted line.  I felt like I needed to put my head between my knees and breathe into a paper bag}, but thank God, he watched over us and our old house sold in record time.

It seemed like all of the cards were falling into place and everything felt perfect….until my dad, who was my best friend in the world, was hospitalized.  As much as we had hoped that he would get better, deep in my gut, I knew he wasn’t coming home.  I cried in the hospital hallway the night he was admitted and told my husband that I was scared that he would never leave the hospital again.  Unfortunately, my worst nightmare came true.  Within a few short weeks, we were faced with the hardest decision I’ve ever made.  Saying goodbye to my hero and moving on without him has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced.  2017 nearly broke me.   It’s a feeling I can’t explain and it’s something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  But, here we are, moving forward and looking ahead, just as he would want us to do.  Dad was full of so much love, he would never want us to sit around and stop living.  So many times in the last few years my dad had given me the advice to “stay young, be active, live life to the fullest and always love your family.”  And that’s exactly what I’m focusing on in 2018.

This year is going to be FULL of milestones in our household.  Milestones that make me want to have an emotional breakdown.  In 2018 I will enroll a child in…gasp…MIDDLE SCHOOL!  How is that even possible?!  My tiny baby will go to preschool – like backpacks and lunchboxes and class work.  And I will turn 35.  I’ve never been one to worry about age; age has always just been a number.  But 35 is a real number, y’all.  35 sounds an awful lot like 40…and that can’t be possible!   Isn’t my mom forty?!?  I mean, it can’t be me staring down forty’s door!  Life is moving at such a rapid pace.  I feel like every time you have a child it just clicks the ‘fast forward’ button a couple more times.  Semesters in college used to seem soooooo long; like they were never ending.  {You know, back when we had no real responsibility but life seemed so hard. *eye roll*  When our biggest problems were what outfit we should wear to Thirsty Thursday and if that jerk of a guy was going to be there and maybe talk to us.}  It seems like now that we’ve hit the sweet spot in life, and we’ve finally found an ounce of real, true happiness, we just want time to stand still but as hard as we try, it just keeps going faster and faster.  So in 2018, while I still plan to focus on ME, I also want to spend every extra second that I can making memories with my family.  My babies are only going to be little for so long.  I want to soak in every second and make every memory that we can make.  I want to seize the day.  I want to say “NO” to outsiders so I can say “YES” to my family.  Time to make 2018 about my crew – and I’m totally ok with being selfish this time.  Just remember, you’re in charge of your time and how you spend it.  You only get one life, spend it well.

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